I came across this post entitled “Are you beautiful? I asked 100 men what ‘physical beauty’ is and the results shocked me” earlier this week and found myself drawn to the title and perhaps this photo of Marilyn Monroe looking incredibly…normal.
I was a bit incredulous as I began to read, but quickly saw that the author, a truly AMAZING young woman named Rozanne, had hit on a nerve with many, many women.
“I’ve travelled around the world and met women from every continent, and every woman I have met– no matter how attractive she is – is battling the same battle and asking the same question: “Am I beautiful?”
I’ve met girls from India who bleach their skin to be lighter. Their mothers tell them: “You will never find a man to marry you if you are too dark.”
I’ve met girls from South Korea who have their eyes made bigger, their jawlines shaved, and bridges put in their noses. The competition to be ‘the most beautiful’ in Korea is so fierce that plastic surgery is a common Sweet 16th gift from parents to their daughters.
I’ve met girls in bathrooms throwing up their food in an attempt to lose weight.
I’ve met women who have had breast implants, butt implants, lypo suction, face lifts, botox, tummy-tucks, knee implants, plastic surgery on their legs, spray tans, and more…
Now, I’m not judging. In fact, these options are very tempting (I even went for a spray tan once… DISASTER) and I understand why we go to these extremes. But because I wanted to get to the bottom of why we feel the need to do this to ourselves, I’ve asked every one of them (and myself):
Them: “Because it (that part of their body) needed to be fixed.”
Me: “Why did it need to be fixed?”
Them: “Because it wasn’t beautiful.”
Me: “Why do you need to feel beautiful?”
Them: “Because I want to feel confident and secure in myself.”
Me: “Why do you need to feel confident and secure?”
Them: “To be happy.”
Me: “How will that make you happy?”
Them: “Because people will like/love me.”
Me: “Which people?”
***(simplified conversation sample)
To be loved.
Loved by a significant other.
So THAT is what our need to be beautiful comes down to: To to be ‘good enough’ for love.
Intrigued, I set out to find out FROM MEN what they consider to be PHYSICALLY beautiful. I asked them informally during conversations, I conducted surveys, and I asked on social media.
I asked single men, married men, young men, old men, straight men, gay men, and men from various religious and cultural backgrounds – from all over the world.
THE RESULTS SHOCKED ME. “
They shocked me as well… I think you should head on over to her blog and finish reading her post (and all her other posts because she’s got some good stuff on there).
Spoiler alert: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! No one else gets to define your beauty. You do. What’s more, you’re worthy of love because YOU ARE and not because you look a certain way.
“Beauty is: loving yourself.
It looks like: taking care of yourself.
It has an attitude of: Confidence in your own uniqueness rather than vanity/arrogance.”
So today, I hope that you recognize that you, just as you are, are enough. You are beautiful. You are more than enough. Not just more than enough for someone to fall in love with you but more than enough to tackle the wonderful, amazing, adventurous life that is out in front of you. You’ve got what it takes!
Thank you Rozanne for taking time to highlight an issue that clearly means so much to so many of us. You are truly beautiful inside and out!